Cowardly Bully

Posted by wynn on Jul 20, 2010 in Donkeys, Table Talk | 4 comments

I have noticed two changes recently at the poker rooms in Detroit. First, about half the seats are empty compared to a few months ago. The second observation is more new players are filling those seats.

By new, I mean inexperienced. Inexperienced players come in two flavors: those that know they don’t know how to play and those that wish they knew how to play.

I encounted both flavors this past weekend. Here is what I mean:

A 60ish woman sits down in Seat 7. She is nervous as hell and does not know the first thing about poker. I give her a few helpful tips from my signature Seat 9. She seems to appreciate the help with how much blinds are, when to post, all that sort of stuff.

She played every hand dealt for two hours and went broke a few times. Down to her last $2, I told her if she wanted to keep playing, she should put more money on the table now if she does not have the minimum buy-in. In other words, she was about to see another flop and probably did not have enough money left to stay. She smiled, thanked me again, and dug into her purse.

Now, I play the players as much as the next grinder. One thing I won’t do, however, is prey on people at the table that have no business sitting at my table. The most money I was going to make on her was $2 a hand. Since I raise 90% of the pots I am in and she folds to 90% of all raises, the risk of us butting heads was 0%. I figure if she can call my raise, she has Aces. For me, it is pretty much that simple.

Too bad the donk in Seat 3 did not feel the same way.

This guy gets K-K and was talking like he won the pot already. Please.

The nice lady I just mentioned threw in a red chip to call the $2 big blind. She immediately asked the dealer for change.

Seat 3 then raises to a whopping $12 and gets 4 callers. Not the way to play Kings if you ask me, but whatever.

The lady throws in two more red chips and does not say a word.

“That’s a raise. That’s a raise. I want my money,” the donk in Seat 3 starts yelling at the woman that is twice his age.

I normally don’t get involved if I am not in the hand, but this poor woman was just about in tears.

See, she has not raised a single street since she sat down. There is no way this person intended to raise. Period. In her mind, she thought the original red chip represented the $2 and the additional $10 was a flat call. End of story.

But no, this Seat 3 guy was trying to bully her for another fucking dollar using his bullshit math. He asks for floor. What a coward.

“Hey pal,” I say to him, “She has not raised, let alone re-raise anyone on any street in any pot in two hours. What the fuck makes you think she is re-raising you?”

He stares me down from behind his sunglasses that he is wearing upside down.

“Hey. A min raise is $20 anyways. It is a call. The dealer is right and you are slowing the game up,” I continue.

“I raised by $8. Half my raise is $4. Four and 12 is 16. She owes me a dollar,” he says in return.

“The fuck she does. You raised by $10, not 8. A min raise is double your raise for another $10. Besides, you have not seen a flop yet and already you have a cinch hand?”

By this time, floor is there, at the table, with the rule book. Poor floor had to read the definition of a min raise to this guy before we could complete the hand.

This cowardly bully cost us about 10 hands worth of playing time.

The only thing worse than having an inexperienced player at the table is a player that is inexperienced but thinks they are a card player simply because they play cards.