Bottom line: I was getting frisky to put a play on and steal a small pot.

Seat 7 was a young kid dressed in red hip hop swag from head to toe. He raised pre-flop to $20.

Seat 8 was an older gentleman who is a loose aggressive type player. He calls.

I called in Seat 9 with rags. I had jack squat. But, I felt I could outplay these players after the flop.

Seat 10 was a businessman from New York. He was playing fairly tight. And he called.

The rest of the table folded and we see a flop of Q-9-4 rainbow.

Check.

Check.

I bet half the pot to represent the Queen.

Fold.

Please fold. Please.

Call.

Shit.

Fold.

I am now heads up with the original bettor.

The turn is a deuce.

Check.

It feels like my opponent has pocket Jacks or 10s. Some kind of middle pair. It also does not feel like he is trying to trap me, or he would have check-raised me on the flop and not just check-call. He simply looked like he did not know where he was in the hand.

I knew exactly where I was: beat with jack squat. I really just wanted to take the pot down right here. I bet half the pot again.

Please fold. Please. Please.

He calls.

Fuck. There goes my profit for the past 2 hours.

The river is a 3.

Check.

My opponent started the hand with about $300 and is now down to about $67. The whole way, I wanted him to fold. Now, I am looking for a call. If he thought I was trying to buy it, I want him to still think I am trying to buy it on the river. I bet $50.

It is enough to make you stop and think value without the psychology of an “all-in”.

He tanks.

Please call. Please.

The whole way he almost insta-calls me when I have nothing. Now, he is pondering a fold.

The only word I spoke for the past two hours was “Raise.” Time to talk him into a call by talking him into a fold.

“I simply wanted to buy this pot. Let me have this one,” I tell him.

“I know.”

“I think you have a hand like A-K or A-10 and missed. Ace high is no good here.”

Nothing.

Really? The call the wrong hand trick did not work? Nothing is working.

“I was trying to represent the Queen. He thought I had a Queen [pointing to Seat 8] and he [pointing to Seat 10] thought I had a Queen. I am pretty sure everyone down there [pointing to the other end of the table] thought I had a Queen.”

“Do you have a Queen?” he asks.

“No. I don’t have a Queen. And you don’t have Ace high.”

Still nothing.

“The truth is I have been lying to you the whole way and now I am telling you the truth. And the truth is I am too embarrassed to showdown this hand. I went runner-runner 989-to-1 longshot to beat your pocket pair.”

“You did not call me with 2-3,” he says.

“Nope. I would let you look at one card, but I don’t want them to kill my hand when I have the stone cold nuts.”

“I call.”

He shows Jacks. I flip over 5-6 off for the nut straight.

Apparently, he missed the ESPN episode where Lon McEron said there are two ways to play pocket Jacks: fold them in turn and fold them out of turn.

My opponent is a 50-something woman that plays like a new dog. She started the hand with about $250. Her preflop raise was $25, and she bet another $25 on the flop of 9-4-4 rainbow. On the turn, she bet $50 and I raised her another $100 when the deuce hit the felt.

“I think you have some bullshit hand like K-9,” I tell her.

“What is your other card,” she fires back.

“You are a player. You know what my other card is. I pulled the 7 right off the top. Raise or fold. Let’s get on with it.”

I am not looking for a call here. I am looking for a re-raise all-in from my opponent.

At this point in the hand, I have used two of my old tricks. First, I showed a card. It was the “pull one off the top” variety instead of the “you can pick one”.

She tanked deeper on that move.

I then pull the “call their hand wrong” trick out of the bag. I know she has an overpair to the board like J-J or 10-10, so I tell her I think she has a weaker hand.

In my mind, the only moves she has is raise or fold. And, I want her to raise.

Bad.

A scare card on the river, like a 7, Queen, King, or Ace, kills her action. A Jack or 10 kills mine.

A good five minutes goes by. I never call time on any player. Although I have the right to, I put calling time in the same category as slowrolling and hit and runs: bad etiqutte.

She ends up just calling.

At this point, she has $200 invested in the hand and is playing $50 behind.

One would think she would be pot-committed here.

A good player would have either raised or folded on the turn and not let me see the river for free.

The river is a 7.

She checks, of course, and I put her all-in.

This player folds and shows J-J.

I show a hand I truly have never played before: 7-4.

I left the table for a couple hours and came back to see a new player. She was in her 60s with about $600 in chips.

Was not sure if she bought the chips or earned them, but I gave her the benefit of doubt and assumed she earned them.

On my first hand back to the table, I have J-J in early position and make it $50 to go.

My friend Barry was first to act. He likes to see alot of flops and calls.

The woman I mentioned above follows Barry’s lead and also calls.

The flop comes Kc-9s-6s.

I am first to act and bet $100 to see where I am at in the hand, hoping to represent either A-K or K-K.

My friend missed the flop and folds.

The lady, however, calls me.

She seemed bothered by the king, so I put her on a flush draw.

The turn is 3d.

I bet another $100.

She ponders a call.

“You are on a flush draw, huh?”, I ask.

“No, I have something better than a flush draw,” she replies.

She is trying to sell me a king, but my gut says flush draw.

The river is a 2h.

I check the river hoping for a check raise play, but my opponent checks.

She shows 10s-7s.

Ten high.

Baffled, I show the jacks.

“I thought you had something better than a flush draw?” I ask.

“I did. I had a gutshot straight flush draw,” she says.

She paid $250 to chase the 8 of spades on a 50-to-one longshot gutshot?

Nearly half her stack is now gone on my first hand back to the table.

Two hands later, another $250 made its way into my growing tower of checks.

This time, things just worked out.

For starters, I could not see my hole cards while wearing my new prescription Oakley Whisker sunglasses.

I must have folded a dozen hands – rags – that flopped the nuts.

Everytime I got a nice pocket pair, either everyone folded to my pre-flop bet or I was forced to chop in the small or big blind.

My reads were totally off – which is highly unusual since I am reliably spot-on.

In fact, I lost a dinner bet due to my terrible reads. This is the first side bet I have lost in 20 years.

I folded K-2. A young lady sitting next to me said she had pocket Kings.

To which I reply, “There is no way you had pocket Kings.”

She bet me dinner.

And I lost.

In my sunken emotional state over bad reads and a couple bad beats, I forgot that they load up FOUR Kings in a deck.

I made just enough money for 8 hours to fund the blinds and stay even.

The only real hand I won was three way action at the end of the night.

I raise to $20 pre-flop and get five callers.

At this point, I am convinced they can see my Q-Q reflected in my shades.

Long story short, I get all the chips in the middle.

Three players fold.

One flops a set of 10s.

One turns a set of Jacks.

I got lucky and rivered a set.

Thankfully, a player with A-K folded on the flop.

It took 8 hours to triple up.

Now, I have the bankroll to fund the dinner bet marker.

I am in the big blind. Someone in middle position makes it $7 to go. Four players called.

I pump it up to $27.

Everyone folds around to the original raiser and he calls. The four original callers fold.

We are now heads up.

I put the player on a hand like 10-10 or J-J or maybe A-K.

The flop comes 8-8-7.

I bet out $15.

My opponent raises me to $50.

I think my original read is good. I do not put my opponent on pocket 8s. Why would he raise me with a cinch hand?

I re-raise to $150.

He makes it $250.

Is he stuck on a big pocket pair? Is he stuck on A-K, or what Amarillo Slim calls Big Broke?

I cap it out at $350.

The turn card is a K.

I am pot committed, so I put the player all-in for another $100. He calls.

The river card is a 3.

My opponent proudly turns over J-J.

I have no idea what hand he put me on, if he was capable of putting me on a hand at all.

I re-raised him pre-flop and re-raised him after the flop. To me, this would signal strength better than J-J.

I flopped a full house with my pocket sevens.

I could have been beat on fourth or fifth street with an overcard based on my read that my opponent had a higher pocket pair. This is the reason I bet the boat hard once I was re-raised.

In retrospect, I had two things going in my favor: dodging a Jack and having someone in the hand that got suck on pocket Jacks.